If I could be…

OK, I’m it now. 74 of Bow Ramp tossed down the gauntlet. It’s raining here, and dinner is still in the works, so here goes…Here are the directions from 74:

I guess I'm "it" now. It always seems to roll down hill doesn't it. First Lex (the Four Striper) tasks Chap (the Three Striper) and now Chap tasks me (the Two Striper) with this "thing." Answering the questions will be easy. Its finding people junior to me (that know how to blog) and have time on their hands that will be the killer. Anyway, here's the deal. There is a list of fifteen possible professions I might like to be in. I'm to pick five from the list and write about why I would like to do each of the five. After that I pick three worthy souls (victims) to carry on with the torture.

I’m sure I’ll find some victims in the MilBlog ring to visit this upon, and…I think I’ll pass it along to another entire set of regular blog commenters in the “outside” world at Right Thinking Girl because they are so full of life over there. So here is the list: If I could be a scientist… If I could be a farmer… If I could be a musician… If I could be a doctor… If I could be a painter… If I could be a gardener… If I could be a missionary… If I could be a chef… If I could be an architect… If I could be a linguist… If I could be a psychologist… If I could be a librarian… If I could be an athlete… If I could be a lawyer… If I could be an inn-keeper… If I could be a professor… If I could be a writer… If I could be a llama-rider… If I could be a bonnie pirate… If I could be an astronaut… If I could be a world famous blogger… If I could be a justice on any one court in the world… If I could be married to any current famous political figure… 1. If I could be a scientist…So many projects, so little time. But….I’d love to figure out the teleporting thing. Now before you think it would be for practical stuff, I have the leisure market in mind. There is such a constraint of freefall from 15,000 feet. It’s a pain to use oxygen, so you have about a minute plus a little of freefall from there (if you are "belly flying", for head down, even less). If you could have a teleportation system, you could get your team or group on the “pad” on the ground, then “beam up” to 15,000 feet. With a device carried on you, you could select the times you could cycle between 15K and 4000 feet. Like maybe 5 time. You could turn some serious points in formation building by starting at 15K down to 4K, then beaming back up. At the end of the 5 “cycles” you could select to be teleported to the ground (for the chickens) or to continue in freefall to canopy deployment. You could also have a “minimum” altitude by which, if you were still falling too fast, where the teleportation system monitors you and would safely bring you back to earth in the case of a malfunction that you hadn’t successfully handled. I foresee serious bucks for each franchise operator….oh, see the United States Parachute Association web site for more details, without the teleportation technology. 2. If I could be an astronaut…I would want to be the first person to skydive on Mars. The canopy would only have to be a few square feet, the view would be incredible, and really wouldn’t mind having to buy that case of beer. In fact, I’d be willing to buy a case for each time I personally got to show the film. (Note to “Wuffos:” If it’s a first, you buy the case…) There would be like serious bragging rights at any drop zone. On the other hand, maybe I’d just need one of those multi-airbag things to encapsulate me right before impact. It would be hard to use of accuracy, but it may lead to a new competition in bounce distance, similar to “swooping” here on earth. 3. If I could be a lawyer…I’d like to begin a movement to work lawyers out of a job. With my Dr. Deming Total Quality Management/Adm Kelso Total Quality Leadership training background, I found out that it’s really good to figure out how to make things efficient. I’m very often at a loss when I heard about lawyers using a variation of the “we had to destroy the village to save it” style of justification. “We had to person to get away with (fill in the blank here) because we passed a law of a completely different subject, and the defendant said it applied to this case and we were too stupid to consider the unintended consequences in the first place, so we just have to rule in a completely logical manner.” I say we take the dead language and chuck it out, along with the forms and exact formatting. Lets make law based on the “common” man, not a bunch of people who have had the money to be able to set themselves up to pass more complicated laws, so we have to give them more money just to understand it. Sounds like a conflict of interest to me as well. 4. If I could be a professor…Oh, how I’d love to be a history professor. There is so much we seem to be ignoring about civilization that can help us build a better future. The opportunity to find young, willing minds and feed them the information, just to see what comes back out would be tremendously rewarding. 5. If I could be married to any current famous political figure…mmmm…Ann Coulter. No explanation necessary. And, yes, I know this statement began with “IF.”